Having just talked with a friend who is thinking about vacationing in Miami, FL., I’m reminded that, while I love visiting Miami, I could never live there. And here are my top 10 reasons for thinking I couldn’t hack it.
10. Dinner served on beds isn't appealing to me when it's in a public setting.
9. I couldn't spray tan enough to get to a decent bronze tone needed to blend with the crowd.
8. When I want to hang out in an Asian-inspired bar or restaurant, I don't want it to include hydraulic tables and wind tunnels.
7. I can't afford breast implants.
6. I've never been fluent in Spanish, and it seems to be the official language of Miami.
5. Wearing sweaters in 70 degree weather doesn’t make sense to me.
4. With only one major university in the area, my 10 years spent in higher education probably wouldn't help me get a job.
3. The notion of needed to buy a $300 bottle of vodka to secure a table at a restaurant makes me vomit in my mouth.
2. Carrying hurricane insurance would cost me more than my current mortgage.
And the number 1 reason for me is...
1. I think eating sushi served off of female and male models' bodies is creepy.
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